Recounting Laughter, Lessons and Longings from the NCO Club

Speaker 1: 1:02

All right. So a couple of weeks ago we're sitting around in an event bullshit and telling stories, like you know old crusty NCOs do, and we were sitting with Sarge and Duke and so we decided that, um, yeah, fuck it, we do an episode kind of like that where the four of us just sit around and tell stories, and you know that might be your thing and it might not, but uh, that's what we do because it's our platform. So, duke, sarge, welcome again.

Speaker 2: 1:30

Thank you, good to be here. Welcome back.

Speaker 1: 1:33

And, uh, I think we're going to affectionately title or this one the NCO club Cause. Uh, well, you know, you got to be one of those to be part of this cool kids group.

Speaker 3: 1:46

And uh, yeah, it was just um. You know, um, I guess we should uh invited top down um, since he was there uh as well, but he's still currently serving, so he might not want to talk shit about retirement's not quite here yet. He might not want to talk shit yet, so um, but yeah, so um, yeah, I mean I guess um you know uh all good uh military stories with starts with uh no shit there I was, no shit, there I was.

Speaker 3: 2:27

And uh. I mean I think you know, um, we just go around the table uh and and start uh with a uh, maybe a a basic training.

Speaker 1: 2:42

Um, that's what I was thinking too.

Speaker 3: 2:44

If you have a good um basic training um story. Uh, I mean, when I went to uh basic uh Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri um 1993, um you know it was, it wasn't as much as a culture shock that I thought it would. You know, like some of the things where you know some people from around the country, they called uh everything. Like some people called everything coke, yep, you know what I mean. Like I want to, I want to coke, okay, and then you, you know, no, I meant Dr Pepper. Right, we'll fucking say that. Like you know. Like in the north, you know, in Ohio, we call it pop um. Down south they called soda and uh things of that. You know little little things that had nature little nuances around the country.

Speaker 3: 3:43

Yeah, little nuances. Uh, it was my first um, my first time um running into someone who had a hyphenated last name, right? Why does it matter, is I don't know, but his, his name was, uh, owens roper. And it's been 30 fucking years, um, and I still still remember. Uh, I'm like why the fuck? You have a hyphenated last name, like you're not sure who your dad is, or you guys just like a 50, 50 split or you got two dads right Like um you know cause, again I say, was on my mind.

Speaker 3: 4:30

So I'm like what, how's that, how's that work? And then he explained it and I'm like cool. And then we had, uh, another guy, his, his dad was a lieutenant colonel and uh, I can't think of his, uh, can't think of his name off the top of my head, but he was, he was what you thought a lieutenant colonel's son would be. If you know, he enlisted and you know, fucking, you know, uh, like he just came from military school and um, but yeah, I mean, we had another kid. Uh, he had uh, um, what's the shit that? Uh, dark ellipses, right, this dude fell asleep in the gas chain, right Right like he would.

Speaker 3: 5:35

He would get smoked every like soon as his ass hit that chair and classes right Fucking. They take him outside, smoke the dog shit out and he'd come back in sweating.

Speaker 3: 5:45

He'd sit down and fucking right, the fuck out, and uh yeah that motherfucker fell asleep, like we had to get down and do pushups in the in the gas chamber, and that motherfucker fell asleep and uh, and then they figured that they finally figured out that he had a sleeping disorder. And they keep the fuck out but that that are. That's some, some of my shit. Um, uh, from basic.

Speaker 1: 6:16

Yeah, the wife tells me this morning. She's like so you're going to tell stories. Well, yeah, she goes, three army guys in an Air Force guy, You're going to tell stories. I'm like, yeah, she goes, your stories aren't going to be that good. I was like fuck man. But then I got thinking I'm like, yeah, she's probably right, Mine probably won't be that good.

Speaker 3: 6:36

So how was the uh child home base? Uh, it was all right Dining facilities.

Speaker 1: 6:41

Yeah. So when I went to basic, uh, that was the first time I'd ever been on a plane, Um, but my dad, you know, my dad told me the goal was don't be at the front, Don't be at the back and don't volunteer for shit. So at the end of my basic training, when we had to do our reporting statement to our, we had TIs, technical instructors. Um, he's like he ran my flight. I'm like mission accomplished, baby. Yeah, you don't know who the fuck I am. We're good to hook. Um, I didn't. Everybody would you know.

Speaker 1: 7:15

I don't know how well it was For you guys, but on Sundays everybody go to church. So they could get to fuck away from everybody. I don't do church. So my goofy ass volunteered to be the laundry guy and I just did fucking laundry all the time. So, um, I could just hang out and do whatever at the laundry place. But, uh, yeah, some things I remember from basic training is we were all at the range and they were running late. So, to get us back, so we could get to Chow on time, they loaded us in the back of a deuce and a half and then their way back, they were cruising pretty good. They went around a curve and the whole right side of the bed broke on the deuce and a half and you had a whole bunch of fucking idiots just fall out while it's going down a rope. To do, do, do, do. So we all fell out. A couple of guys got banged up a little bit. One dude fell and broke his uh wrist or his hand or something, but they did not wash him back. They let him finish with that cast on and I think it's cause they knew they fucked up by putting him in the back of that truck, cause we were packed in, Um, and then I think I figured out cause I was thinking of these stories today I'm going to write up here and I'm like I think I figured out why I am drawn to women who are an extremely bossy, and that's because, uh, senior students, uh, senior airman Rojas, I remembered that bitch today and I was like, oh, I bet that's why she was like you could tell that she okay.

Speaker 1: 8:48

First of all, we're in San Antonio, it's in September, it's fucking hot, but she always looked good. Oh, my God, she always looked good. Always She'd come in on the weekends and a fucking sundress just to fucking torment the shit out of us while looking fine as hell. No one bitch knew that every one of us wouldn't be able to keep our eyes for it. We're watching her walk around that fucking sundress and she just smoked a dog piss out of us when we she would do that. I'm like, oh, this bitch, Um, but yeah, other than that, basic training was fucking basic training. It went a big shock for me either. Me, fuck I. I got there and they're like we're not staying in the position of attention. Well, when I was a kid, my fucking dad made me stand in the position of attention with my nose a couple of inches off the wall. If I do this all my fucking day, let's go Um, but yeah, for the most part it was nothing. It was exactly what you think of when someone says Air Force basic training.

Speaker 4: 9:49

So you guys had like steak and lobster at the mess hall.

Speaker 1: 9:53

No, no but.

Speaker 4: 9:55

That's all we think of. I mean, I do, but no, no, hold on.

Speaker 1: 9:58

That that was in basic. No, would you get past that? Yeah, hey auntie yeah.

Speaker 1: 10:03

When, when I got, when we were supposed to do a deployment um, well, okay, it was called a deployment, but really we were just going to go support some airplanes for an air show in Tunisia Um, our lodging facilities was a five star hotel on the Mediterranean. Oh, I was so fucking excited. And then, like a week before that, they canceled that bitch. I was mad as fuck. I was like God damn, yeah, yeah, the. The worst places I had to go were places like Pope, because fuck, fort Bragg, god damn For an Air Force guy, fuck all that noise, fuck all that noise. And then some, I got wetter in like an hour of fucking humidity and rain in Pope Air Force base than I did in five fucking years in McCord and Washington state, where it rains all the motherfucking time. Yeah, no, I'm good, I'm good. No, no, thank you, I'll pass. You are Me. Guys can have that shit.

Speaker 4: 11:08

Yeah, I went to basic in 88 for McClellan, alabama, and I went in June and it was uh, for McClellan's closed down. I think the Alabama guard owns it now or something like that, but uh, yeah, it was pretty warm down there. But uh, I had a similar situation as, as you're a female that you were talking about, my senior drill sergeant that I had for my company's name was Pegon and he was a. He was a tunnel rat in Vietnam. He's like five, five little mean fucker.

Speaker 1: 11:36

Did he come in wearing this undress?

Speaker 4: 11:38

No, but the other drill sergeant that would be there to share time with him. Her name was drill sergeant a bell and she was an American Indian and she was beautiful. And when she would walk by and you smiled at her, while she would put you in the front leaning, rest, and you know you're pumping them out, but she's down there, like in your face on the ground, looking at you and saying you still want to smile, private, and you're trying not to, but you are, as you're knocking them out, because she was just gorgeous, uh, and she was a little thing too, but, um, but we didn't. We didn't ride around in five tons. In basic training we had cattle cars. So, uh, everywhere we went was in a cattle car or on foot, um, more on foot than anything, um, yeah, everything we did was on foot.

Speaker 1: 12:22

It was just that particular day that we're trying to rush us back because the range was delayed for some fucking reason.

Speaker 4: 12:29

Now we had in Alabama. They had cat head biscuits, which I didn't know what that was, because obviously I've never been in the south before, but evidently in the chow hall they make cat head biscuits and the reason why they're called that is because the biscuits are the size of a cat's head and I was like, well, that's some weird looking shit. You know it's a big biscuit, but I learned what a cat head biscuit was, which was pretty cool.

Speaker 3: 12:51

Yeah, any females in your basic training.

Speaker 2: 12:54

Oh no, I went to uh uh, fort Benning for infantry O's that. Uh, so we had zero females there. You might catch a stray one down when you went out to get a haircut at the PX or something.

Speaker 2: 13:06

But, uh, you were forewarned prior to going down there. Uh, didn't have a terrible time there. Uh, you know they'd boat you up to build a team up together. Um, probably the most memorable thing I can think of is we was down on a CQ one night, uh, and you went down to the guy beside you, so Haney, uh, the guy beside me was Hicks. Uh, so we was down in a row in CQ. Uh, you didn't really know what was going on down the road for your training schedule and everything. Um, so he went into the commander's office. Our desk was outside and we had demand for the hour.

Speaker 2: 13:44

He goes into the commander's office. He comes out of his day hanging, he goes. They got the whole schedule up for the rest of the cycle. We're here. He was on the right of down like bro, we probably you probably shouldn't be in there. He goes. I'll be quick about it. So our senior drill sergeant uh was uh, it's our first class Frank G Gallivest, just a little short guy. Um, apparently there was a back door to get into that room, to that office, but we didn't know about. He's never in there, right, uh, drill sergeant Gallivest was on duty that night. It comes in that back door and catches Hicks in there and just comes uncoiled on him and comes out dragging and then a start, proceeds to start smoking a shit out of him. And then he goes would you let him in there for private? I said I. He goes, you're just as wrong as him. And then he starts, proceeds to start smoking a shit out of me. Okay, because you boys got your canteens, like Roger he was. Let's go out to the PT field.

Speaker 2: 14:40

So then there's nobody to desk because there's nothing going to happen Anyhow you know, maybe he gets. Let me come down to want some laundry or something. Log it in 1594. But so he takes out the PT field. You know it's quarter mile track with the mulch in the middle he goes. Well, man, they just put this new mulch out here. Where level route tonight? So we get at one end and he has a slow crawling from one end to the other for about two and a half hours and you know we just got a shower tonight.

Speaker 2: 15:12

You don't take a shower the more you take one at night. So we're out there and just mulch down our ass cracks and everywhere else and this dude's crying.

Speaker 1: 15:20

I'm like I'm gonna kill you, bro, because I didn't do anything and you even warned him yeah.

Speaker 2: 15:27

And we get done. You know he's like that's enough. He goes go upstairs and get some rack. No, it was like a half hour before we had to be back out for PT by this time and he's bawling. I was like dude, I'm going to fucking kill you and we get back up there and you know lay down for half hour.

Speaker 2: 15:43

We get back out for PT and you see our little worm trails up and down the PT field. I guess somebody got smoke last night. He asked me and Hicks, you know. And yeah, I ran into that guy in Germany and then again as a recruiter too. So you remember that shooting. You snuck in that office, brother.

Speaker 3: 16:04

I still I don't recall.

Speaker 1: 16:07

I still deal with that trauma. Yeah.

Speaker 3: 16:10

I mean, sandhill ain't a bad. I mean, I guess if you're going through basing on Sandhill, it's a different animal, you're looking from a different lens. When I was on the Army wrestling team, we stayed on Sandhill and they call them the space shuttles or whatever. We were right across from the aid station and so that in the aid station they put in a, but our physician for the team used an office in there and we'd be going in and get our orders on shots on a regular basis. But but yeah, sandhill, you know, I spent many years on Fort Bang, so Sandhill was yeah, that's, that's. That's how I knew there was no, no females, no females on Sandhill.

Speaker 1: 17:42

So you did basic AIT one place, one station, training, right, yeah, you did it too. And then where'd you go for?

Speaker 4: 17:50

AIT was at Fort Bliss, Texas.

Speaker 1: 17:52

So I was. So the Air Force only has one place for basic training, at San Antonio, at Lackland. And then I went to Shepherd Air Force Base in Wichita Falls, texas, which is where I'm at my first wife she worked at the Chow Hall midnight.

Speaker 3: 18:10

I don't surprise me one so now it gets better.

Speaker 1: 18:16

So about this time was when that Adam Sandler album dropped with Lunch Lady Land, right, I used to play that fucking song all the time. It piss her off so much. Twice that fucking CD was ejected out the fucking car when I played it. So that was in 98. In 93, in 2003, I went back for seven level school, which is our. So you're a three level when you leave tech school, for us You're a five level after you've done your two years of on the job training or whatever. Once you become an E five, you have to go back for seven level schools so you can learn how to inspect and sign off equipment, stuff like that. So we go back. I go back for seven level school in 03.

Speaker 1: 19:05

I'm in a class with people that were in about the same time I was, and somebody goes hey, do you guys remember that fucking dude that married the chick that worked at the Chow Hall? And everybody's like, yeah, I wonder what the fuck happened to him. I'm like yeah, he's sitting right here in class and they're like, oh, fuck, that was you, my, that was me. So I was. I was like, fuck, I'm notorious. So we, there's a, there was a strip club there and miss easy rider from like I think it was 02 was their headlining right. We closed that fucking strip club down every motherfucking night.

Speaker 1: 19:43

But I don't drink, so I was the DD because some of the guys had their own cars there and they'd get fucked up and fucking. We walk in there one night. I walk in the door and the bitch that's stripping looks just like my ex-wife and I look at her and she looks at me and like there's this weird familiarity between us. I'm like all right, fuckers, I'm out. They're like wow. I'm like, nah, bitch, I think that's my ex-wife. And one of them's like she owes you fucking child support, right? I'm like, yeah, they're like when she comes over to get some money, just snatch that shit up out of her garter. I was like no, I'm fucking good.

Speaker 1: 20:23

And they're like nah, come on. And then I looked a little bit closer and I realized it wasn't her, but man, I fucked me up.

Speaker 1: 20:29

I was like nope, uh-uh negative ghost rider, I ain't doing that shit. Yeah, that's motherfuckers. We went to uh, it was a BYOB, fucking full nude strip club. We walk in. One of the guys got fucking 12 pack with him. Walk in and it's like later in the afternoon and I walk in, I turned around, I'll walk back out. I'm like fuck you guys, I'm done. Bunch of the other guys walked in, turned around, walked back out. That motherfucker with the 12 pack went in, sat down and he cracked one. He's like I ain't leaving till this fucking beer is empty and then I'll come back out.

Speaker 1: 21:01

The lady on state ladies a strong word, but the lady on stage reminded me of a grandmother. Oh yeah, it gets worse. You know how a lot of times they'll rub themselves down with oil or stuff. She had like a big bottle of fucking dollar store lotion, just fucking rubbing it all over. I walk in. I see that. I'm like nope, there's the start of my trauma, I'm out. That's why we stayed at that one strip club the whole time we were there. Oh fuck, it was crazy yeah.

Speaker 3: 21:36

But so, going back to going back to basic, I was um, um, one of the bigger, um, shocker humans I'm so shocked, one of the bigger humans in my basic training and I lost 70 pounds, um, between basic and a it, um, that huge, um, and you know my, my recruiter is like hey, bud, you might want to lose some weight, and blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2: 22:04

And.

Speaker 3: 22:04

I'm like oh fuck, you know, and uh, yeah, you know, you get to get the basic training and that first meal. You know us army guys would go through the line and we have to hold our fucking ID card under our chin and fucking you know, while you're in the line, you know your other drill sergeants are hitting you with your chain of command and if you don't know it, you're going to the back of the line. So I quickly knew my chain of command. Quickly I knew the rank structure.

Speaker 3: 22:35

I knew the person's name in our chain of command who you know who's your commander, who's your you know and uh, because you go to the back of the I mean in a basic training company, you go to the back of the line, you're you're not eating, uh, and you know that first meal I go through the line. Yes.

Speaker 1: 22:55

Yes.

Speaker 3: 22:56

You know what I mean. Just going down, yes, yes. And they're, like, you know, the lady, the lunch lady behind the. You know, like honey, I don't think they want you eating this much. I don't care.

Speaker 3: 23:08

And uh you know, you walk, you walk out of the lunch line and get in there and then that's where the drill sirens are sitting and fucking. You know, um, you know they have their little space. If you walk in their space they make you do dumb shit. You know, walk backwards and say beep, beep, beep. You know, well, I come out of there with fucking. You know I got milk on my tray, fucking. You know, pal shit on my plate. And then, you know, course, drill siren comes over.

Speaker 3: 23:37

Uh, my, my nickname and basic training from the drill sirens was affectionately, uh, meathead, uh, I mean meathead, and uh, so he. So he's like, hey, meathead, come here. And I'm like, oh, this is a trick, right, because I just saw the dude beep, beep, beep. You know what I mean. So I go to the spot where he stopped backing up and they made him. You know, all, right, now, get the fuck out of here, right? So I go to that and he's like private, come here. I'm like, oh, and I move over there. And he's like what the hell are you hesitating for? I said, come here, you come here. I'm like, uh, drill siren, you know you, privates are not allowed. Oh, you one of those. Okay, all right. He's like you're going to eat everything on his plate and I'm like Roger, yes, and he's like all right, five minutes, go, I sit down, I eat it all. He's like five minutes. He's like all right meet head, let's go.

Speaker 3: 24:45

We go outside and he, you know, roll left, roll right. I went front, I went back. I went oh yeah. After I spit on my boots a couple of times, he was like you know, you got much next time. No drill, sir. And uh, yeah, so quickly, uh quickly realized that you know, um, I'm going to be on ration food for the next. You know so many days.

Speaker 1: 25:14

So my stepdad one of the ways he would punish me when I was a kid was to withhold meals from me. So when I got a chance to eat, I ate as fast and as much as I could because I didn't know if he was going to take it away or whatever. So when I went to go live with my dad, like they'd be halfway through their first plate, my fucking chin's down on the table and I'm just shoveling it in as fast as I can. So dad finally gets me slowed down to an acceptable speed of eating. And then I went to basic training and now in the Air Force they do.

Speaker 1: 25:41

At the time they did four guys to a table and uh, once the last guy sat down to start eating, they started keeping an eye on the first guy. And then, once they started getting up, they just start fucking screaming at people so that you know the table. So I would sit down and as soon as I sit down I tried to position myself so I could be the last one. Because the moment I sat down the motherfuckers be like neighbor, fucking, take your time, motherfucker, neighbor, mother, mother, because I'm just like and I'd fucking get done. And the rest of them be like you, cocksucker Cause I'd be like I'm up and I'm out Cause I fuck you, I ain't getting yelled at, I'm out of here.

Speaker 1: 26:21

So I'd pop up and get out and then I, as I'm walking away, I'd hear the motherfuckers Come over there. You motherfuckers were here first and you let that motherfucker. I'm like, nope, I'm done Outpiece. They didn't tell me all the time, you cocksucker, they'd hate it when I'd fucking sit down because I fucking ate fast. But yeah people, you know, the first couple of days they'd try to go up to the dessert glass things. You know they tease you with those motherfuckers that go up there. They pull that motherfucker out that case and then they turn around and they'd be right there in their ass. Oh you want fuckers.

Speaker 1: 26:54

You want fucking dessert and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, yeah.

Speaker 3: 26:59

Yeah, and we had in my basic training we had several, several big guys and they strategically put us in different platoons. And you know, when we left reception on Leonardwood, reception is Like off by itself they built, they built around it now, but then it was very secluded. And so you know, you had Tag sergeants that trained you in reception for the three days you're there or whatever, and then the cattle truck shows up and my, I had an all male basic training Next to us in the building. Next to us was all female basic training. So they picked up everybody on several cattle trucks, females and males, and so there was three drill sars, two females and a little short, a little short drill sarn, sarn Rios and and I'm looking, I'm like this is gonna be fucking if these and these people that's gonna be yelling at me, this is gonna be fucking easy.

Speaker 3: 28:30

And you know they're real nice, all right, profits. Come on, you know, get on it. You know, get on the fucking cattle truck. And they're like you know. And that that cattle truck, you know, it's like you know, it's like you know that that cattle truck gets over the railroad tracks, which is like the deep arcation line between 38th parallel right.

Speaker 3: 28:56

And soon. You know, as soon as that thing ran over the bumps of the train tracks, fucking, all these motherfucking Dr Jekyll's turned into Mr and Mrs Hyde and they fucking. Oh, you're like what the fuck the hell just happened. So then then we get to our basic training Barracks I was in Delta 210 and Get there and you know, my fucking recruiter told me Bring all this, all this shit, your towels and your fucking toiletries and this, that and the other. And I put you know, they told us in reception not to take powdered detergent with us because we'll be slamming our fucking. They didn't tell us that. They didn't say we would be slamming our fucking duffel bags a hundred fucking times. They didn't say that, they just said don't take. But you know, I was a poor kid, right. So I spent money on this fucking detergent. I'm taking it with me. So I put it in a, in a like a ziplock bag or like a garbage bag from the barracks and I fucking a hundred mile an hour, take that motherfucker and put it on the top of my duffel bag and we get there. So I have my duffel bag and a fucking rucksack or whatever, and then I have my carry on bags that my recruiter said I would be ahead of the game if I got all these fucking towels and toiletries and fuckers, flip flops. And right, my recruiter lie. So I have that in a bag and I'm holding all this shit and you know they're like.

Speaker 3: 30:46

So you run up to the fucking drill sergeant with the clipboard and he's like what's your name? Private? You're like Vickers. He's like all right, you're in third between third floor Go. Now run up there. And you know each Patune had a day room on each floor and so I got and there's a drill and there's a drill sergeant outside the room and he's like what's your name? You're like Vickers. He's like you're in my baton. Go back outside, boom, outside of. Go, fucking get back in line. Go back up to the guy. He's like probably did not just see you. You're like, yes, drill sergeant. He's like what's your name? You're like Vickers drill sergeant. He's like what did I tell you to go last time? You're like third between. He's like no, I didn't, I told you first between first floor Go and you run in there and fucking Guy standing outside the door and he's like what's your name? You're like Vickers, like you're not in my baton.

Speaker 3: 31:43

So part of me was like just go upstairs to the second floor because there ain't about three, patune right. But drill sergeant said go outside. So I'm gonna go outside, so I go back out. He's like what are you doing? Private, private did not to. He's like Beat your face. So I'm doing pushups and fucking and and he's like, all right, get back up. He's like now take your ass to second to tune, like I told you the first time, right, fuck. So I go to second to. I'm fucking dripping, wet dripping.

Speaker 3: 32:19

And so we were in his day room. We're in like two ranks on either side of the room and you know that's when Sergeant Johnson comes in. And Sergeant Johnson, he's probably five, six and and he thinks he's six, eight, you know meaning like he'll come get in your chest and his brown round on hitching and fucking, and he's. But the other two are Sergeant Susanna and Sergeant Green. There were some big dudes. One was an MP, I can't remember what the other one was, but there were some big dudes and so whatever. But Sergeant Johnson was the senior drill Sergeant and them other two were just fucking his muscle, his fucking muscle. And so we're fucking throwing these goddamn duffel bags down, throwing them down, throwing them down. You know all these dudes in reception that walked around the little war two barracks with their fucking shirts off because they were fucking the men in high school and you know what?

Speaker 3: 33:41

I mean and and you know, we had a couple dudes, I mean they were diesel looking and they couldn't get the 13 pushups, just to get the fucking basic training. They're like come on, man. And so we're fucking in these, in these guys over there with all their muscles. They're fucking. You know, you got fucking tears coming down their fucking face and and they're like hold them up. And then they walk out the room. They walk out of the room and we're standing there holding them and motherfuckers are crying. And I'm like, knock off all this fucking sniffling. You know like you guys are sniffling and they're like Shut up, man. I'm like man, fuck this. And you know. And then now it's fucking. I'm like, just throw the fucking bag down. When he says, throw the bag down, I'm like it's easy, right, and so they come back in and he's like, all right, drop the bags.

Speaker 1: 34:41

And.

Speaker 3: 34:42

I fucking dropped that thing and fucking time, todd goes all over the fucking place. Oh, oh, you, a coke man, you got, you know, you got contraband and all this shit. And well, you know, it was raining just a little bit that day and man, all my shit was study after that, because you know we drop it out on. And I was like man, fuck, everybody's laughing at me. Man, fuck you, you got, fuck you. But yeah, you know, I didn't mind basic training. I, you know my. Again, I said it before. I had a football coach in high school.

Speaker 3: 35:32

That dude, he, there was only one way to do things the right way, anything else you got your fucking as chewed off, I mean. So it was just an extension of that for me. So, but yeah, I mean we did have further on in the, we did Pugel, and so you know, we did Pugel, boba toons, and then we did a baton on the tune deal. So it ends up me and this other dude his name was Mad Dog, I don't know his real name, but that's what his fucking Guys affectionately called him. So anyways, we get paired up, we're the last two to go Pugel and he fucked around Against the guy from first between they got the Pugels like intertwined and he kind of, you know, propelled that thing and broke the other guys for him and he had to get recycled. And so we're sitting there and one of the guys in my, my butthole, he's like hey, this guy likes to run, like run at you and and and fucking intimidation, right, he's like. I've seen him fight a couple of times and that's what he does every time. He runs at him and then you, you know, get defensive and then he gets a point Like all right, so you know, we stand back to back, we walk out so many paces and then we walk out, and then we walk out, and then we walk out so many paces and then you turn and fucking, you know kill, you know, and, and then they say fight. Well, we turn, we turn and and say kill, and guys says fight, joe Sarn says fight, and this dude starts running at me. So I dropped my Pugel, I grab him, monkey rolling right, and oh and oh drill Sarn came over and grabbed my fucking face mask. What the fuck are you doing? Private? I'm like winning, right, yeah, I'm like you know. And so we ended up, we ended up going at it and I ended up winning.

Speaker 3: 38:15

And so we're in a chow hall one day after that and me and this guy never spoke, and he was. He was a real like. When we faced off, they're like, all right from from second between we have private vickers and from third between we have private whatever the hell's name was. And then everybody started barking, right, because that's his nickname, mad dog. So he starts. So he starts barking. So I'm like, well, well, right, I don't do a fuck. And so we fight, I flip him right. He gets up, and before he like he rolls and I get up and we smash heads, right, because he's pissed off. And then drill sirens, grab me by the face mask, you don't do that bullshit, brubber. And then we face off again and ended up out pointing him.

Speaker 3: 39:15

And then a few days later we're in a chow hall and he's like hey, man, good match, yeah. And he's like where are you from? I said Ohio. No shit, I'm from Ohio, yeah. And he's like where are you from? And I'm like Martin's very. He's like, no shit, I'm like yeah, like you heard of it. He's like my roommate in college is from Martin's very. I said where'd you go to college? He's like Ashland. I'm like oh, you know, scott Joseph, he's like that's my roommate, I'm like that's my fucking neighbor and he's like oh shit, he's like. And so then we were cool after that and he played football for Ashland. He was a defensive tackle for Ashland.

Speaker 1: 40:04

So you know.

Speaker 3: 40:04

And then when I got back home from base and playing, I ran into Scott and said you know this fucking guy? He's like yeah, that's my roommate, I mean he's an asshole he's like yeah.

Speaker 3: 40:20

So, but yeah, I mean that's. We had some golden glove. We had a golden glove boxer from New York, and we had a Cuban. I had a Cuban in my basic training and that dude, he was a boxer as well. So then, motherfuckers, they went at it in the fucking latrine one night and it was, it was pretty good, and but, but the Cuban. We had a, a female Cadet, cadet from West Point come, and she was sitting in on her, you know, and so we did a PT test one day and Somehow, he, the Cuban and I don't know his name, but he was from Cuba, so that makes him Cuban he's holding her feet and then he proceeds to be like, oh, say something about the smell or some shit. Oh yeah, he had to stand at attention and do facing movements all day, all fucking day, all day. I'm like God damn, he's like what. I can't help it. Pussy smells. God damn, man, god damn.

Speaker 4: 41:57

Yeah, we had some golden glove blockers in basic training too. I had one native dad from. He was actually from El Paso, texas, big dude, I mean, he was your size, big golden glove guy, real, real good dude. One of my, one of my better friends. As a matter of fact we went on to a it together and then I lost track of him. But we had another guy that kind of went. I don't know, it was week five or six when things started getting a little bit. You know where you could see the light at the end of the tunnel. But things were still kind of tough and this guy had some mental issues. So he decided he was going to take his own life. So we're on the second story of the three story, billets. So he thinks that he's going to take and wrap the cord from the buffer around his neck and throw it out the window and kill himself. He didn't measure anything before he did this right.

Speaker 3: 42:53

You could do the whole floor, the whole. I don't know how big your barracks are. You don't matter how big the barracks are. I've never unplugged the buffer to go somewhere else and buff. Right, you buff. You plug it in one spot and then you buff wherever you're buffing and then you wrap that shit back up and you're done.

Speaker 4: 43:13

Yeah, so this is like 11 o'clock at night. Everybody's in Iraq except for the fire guard. The fire guard's making his rounds, how they do you know, and this guy slides the window open, ties the cord around his neck, lifts that heavy ass thing up, tosses it out the window. Well, all it does is goes down, hits the concrete, explodes. He's still got the cord around his neck, he's good to go, but he ended up getting chaptered out. He disappeared after that night, but we know he didn't kill himself because we saw how the cord and everything was and he was still sitting on the floor. Yeah, that was a crazy night. It's kind of funny. I never quite seen anything like that before, but there's a lot of things that you know. You grew up in the country and you go to basic training. There's a lot of things that you've never seen before. You see for the first time.

Speaker 2: 44:01

Right, I mean.

Speaker 4: 44:02

I never showered with a bunch of dudes before till basic training, so that was an experience in its own.

Speaker 1: 44:08

I didn't know what a mushroom tattoo was till basic training. So 60 guys in our flight probably 30% of us are from Ohio and we had a bunch from New York and one of them was this Jewish dude, like if you think of a Jewish New York gangster, that's what this kid thought. He was right, but this other guy had a problem with him, you know. So they were always back and forth. So we're lights out. A few minutes after lights out, you just hear that motherfucker, a Jewish kid walked up. That dude had been fucking with him, took his dick out and fucking popped him right in the goddamn forehead with it and he's like what the fuck? And he's like that's a mushroom tattoo, motherfucker. And I fucking died Like I was like what, what the fuck? Yeah, he fucking smacked that motherfucker right in the forehead with his dick. I was like Jesus, he was Jewish. So you know that motherfucker had a turtleneck.

Speaker 3: 45:11

And right, right and without knowing, like, if you're still in basic training, that is the ultimate disrespect. A year later, that's a random Tuesday, that's. That's you falling asleep on the fucking bus. You know what I mean. Like we had. We had one kid that got washed back multiple times.

Speaker 1: 45:31

He was super short. He made it to ours. We nicknamed him Willow because he was like really fucking short. They put him on the top bunk. Well, that motherfucker slept one night on his arms. So when he we got up in the morning he went to get out of the rack and his fucking arms were all numb and they didn't work. So he went to go and roll over Arms didn't work. And because the motherfucker was so short you just heard he hit the fucking floor. Damn, yeah, yeah. I saw some weird shit in basic training.

Speaker 1: 46:03

that I was not. I'd never seen before. Yeah, how many times do you come back from somewhere?

Speaker 4: 46:08

and all your wall walkers. Shit would be all over the floor every time. I mean, somebody'd leave their shit unsecured and they'd come in there and just fuck everybody's shit up. That was awesome, I mean yeah.

Speaker 3: 46:26

Which, you know it, it was a good transition for what I went to Korea, you know, because my first sergeant, first sergeant Strickland, first sergeant Hart, first sergeant excuse me sergeant Hart, and they all came off the trail and but they were all in, they all came from Leonardwood but I didn't see him on the trail because I was, you know, I was in a infantry base in training and they were in OSIT engineer base in training and but they all came off the trail at like around the same time and all came to our company.

Speaker 3: 47:17

So now you have fucking, you know, drill sergeants just off the trail now in charge of everything. It's like fuck, and so it. I mean Korea, korea, relaxes everybody. It's hard, it's hard to be, you know, that dude for a whole year, because eventually you're going to have a bad day or whatever. You're going to want to go down to the Ville and everyone else is in the Ville and you know you just fall in, fall in, and then you know somebody else say I don't want to hear about this on Monday, you know like, don't, don't remind me this on Monday.

Speaker 1: 48:14

So all these stories about basic training? As a recruiter, did you properly prepare guys for basic or did you just give them just enough so that when they got there it was chaos and anarchy?

Speaker 2: 48:27

I mean, I told them it's what you make of it man, because you know the drill sergeants or they get a value just throwing a number. They get 40 soldiers in their platoon, you know, and so ours reflect how many of those 40 they graduate. So they don't want to lose anybody. You know what I mean. So they're there to do whatever they have to do to keep you there. They're there to push you to your limits, but they're not trying to get rid of you. That's what I told them.

Speaker 2: 48:56

I said take it day by day, man. I said so yeah, it's going to be hard, but don't let it get into your head, you know I mean. So the other first week's going to be the hardest, and it's you know. They're there to develop you and make you into a soldier, you know. I said but it is what it is, it's not anything you can't do. I said you know they're there to help you. They're not there to get rid of you. You know, and that's what they had. That's just what you got to realize. They're great at the one getting you from A to B. They don't want to lose you.

Speaker 1: 49:26

Yeah, I had talked to some recruiters once and I'm like how the fuck do you motherfucker sleep at night sending some of these shit bags? And the response I got was well, it's the fucking basic training to weed out the ones that aren't any good. I'm like, come on, man, like if this motherfucker walks around with two left feet, you know he probably shouldn't be going.

Speaker 2: 49:49

I said I think I told you guys before is if I won one of them in my foxhole fight and with me, I wouldn't put them in there. There were more, they weren't just numbers to me personally. I mean to a lot of people they were, but you know I mean so.

Speaker 3: 50:04

but so, so, moving forward, when, when I say worst, worst soldier, what, what comes to mind? You have a guy You're your worst soldier.

Speaker 2: 50:26

You want me to tell you about I mean.

Speaker 3: 50:29

I mean you know, I mean this is a. I mean we spent a lot of time on basic training in right, but I'm saying you know?

Speaker 1: 50:36

out of your whole career, what's the worst one?

Speaker 3: 50:38

Yeah, I mean a whole career, that guy that you know that will forever live in infamy.

Speaker 2: 50:49

Probably old private Briggs.

Speaker 3: 50:53

All right.

Speaker 2: 50:54

So he came. So this was in Germany. You have to get command sponsorship to bring your spouse over, right he? So he come right from a OSA training over. So he didn't have command sponsorship. You had to get over there, get housing and get everything established. Sometimes it takes two weeks, sometimes it could take up to three months. You know, I mean just spends on a housing and you can put in a request that you only want housing on post or you want on an economy, or you can put whatever is the first available, on post or off post. Whatever he picked, on post only. So that's good. And he's a private, so it's going to take just a little bit longer. So he's going to be able to get a little bit more of a different, different squad though so private Briggs Do could run. When he first got there, pretty good soldier. Then you progressively got on and got drinking and got smoking and started turning the proverbial shit bag, started being late to formations.

Speaker 2: 52:04

So I got him as a rehab transfer, so you got a clean slate bro, I said now we start over.

Speaker 2: 52:10

I didn't last too long and yeah, so I was the one CQ one night and you know you said seven to seven and I get off this. They had a battalion road march at morning. Force March Rock wasn't bad, it's like a 35 or 40 pound rock, but it's force March, fast pace Time commander leading the battalion. I went home. You know I was off duty, my time was up, I go home, I command I go home to go to sleep. Like 1700. My squad leader calls me as an E five at the time and because they hate me, goes. This was Friday, by the way, so I had a three day weekend. He goes tomorrow morning at that 6 30 need to be at the company and take private breaks on a road march. What the fuck, bro, he goes. He fell out of the road march this morning.

Speaker 2: 53:13

So he needs corrective training, needs to go another road march. I'm like all right, roger, so this dude had no truck or no transportation either, so you had one base housing at this point. His wife got over there. So, my Roger, so I go to the company in the morning and I pass him as pissed, I let him walk, so he is late. And I get there and he's late and he comes in sweat.

Speaker 2: 53:44

He got drunk the night before so he just soaking with sweat and I could smell the booze on him. I took his poor bastard out and about killed him and I left me. I lost sight of that. I get back to the company and apparently they had a couple or a platoon lay out that day and I didn't know if and about it because I was on CQ. They go where's Briggs? I said I don't know, Maybe motherfuckers dead in the woods somewhere, man, I said I have no idea.

Speaker 3: 54:07

I said I fucking left him man.

Speaker 2: 54:10

So they get in a POV and they go what route Take us? I went, you know, they found him and they've made him walk in front of the car the rest of the way and it was just nonstop with this guy. Man Failed a PT test so I had to do remedial fucking PT with him after duty hours. You know, at the end of the day I had to do PT as this fucking guy. I said, bro, you know, our remedial PT is going to be every day. He goes. What's our I said, a fucking PT test every day.

Speaker 2: 54:39

Every day until you pass and we just kept doing that. Yeah, he just sticks out my mind.

Speaker 3: 54:48

Yeah, I mean, I know you have you got one.

Speaker 4: 54:57

I didn't have one like that. I mean, one of the worst ones that I ever had was late in my career and there was an officer, and this dude was from West Point and you know, we get into Afghanistan, we're not there fucking 72 hours. He has two negligent negligent discharges and a clearing barrel coming into the fall. First time he pulls his, his nine millimeter out, doesn't drop the magazine, puts a tube in the barrel, squeeze the trigger, boom. His eyes get about this big, pulls a weapon out, racks it, drops the mag. So now he's got one and two, what's it down in the barrel and squeezes another round off.

Speaker 4: 55:48

And I'm like you've got to be fucking kidding me and I was a sergeant major at the time and these two NCOs come off the, the gate entrance, the guard check and they're like what do you want to do, sergeant Major? I'm like take him to commander. I don't want, I don't want to see him, you know. And then the guy was supposed to get, he's supposed to get reprimanded before we left country. And you just want them guys. You just you never let him leave the fob. He just yeah, I don't want to mention any names because he might be listening some some time, but but yeah, I mean I never had any Joe's like you had. I mean, I had some dirtbags throughout the years that I had to counsel and things, but I never had somebody that was like that, fortunately for me. I mean, but no, how about you?

Speaker 1: 56:45

Well, I mean similar infantry engineer.

Speaker 3: 56:52

The mentality is similar and especially depending on where you're, where you're stationed, you know it's even more similar. You know personally. You know, I'm sure if there's people listening they're they're going to say a name right, um, you know when, early in early in my career, I had one guy that it seemed like he couldn't do anything, right, right, um, but to me training was a never ending cycle, right, so I'm going to train you regardless. And he ended up reclassing and he had a great career. He retired you know what I mean. Like he was just not set to be a combat engineer. You know what I mean.

Speaker 3: 57:52

And, like I've said previously, you know it's, it's our job to sit down and be like, hey, you know when, when it's come time to reenlistment, you know, hey, um, you're not built for the army or you're not built to be an engineer. I mean, you probably probably be graded, pack or graded. You know POL or whatever it is, but this thing right here that we're doing you're not great at. Then I had some guys that you know I'm like, hey, listen, um, I'm pretty sure you fucked the fries up at McDonald's. So I dam sure you know, um, the. The quote unquote bad soldiers? There was no. There was no gray area with some of them dudes. They were just. They were bad enough to get kicked the fuck out immediately.

Speaker 3: 58:48

Right, so there was no gray area, there was no fucking. Oh, this motherfucker again, you know what I mean. They did some shit and you know, um, I had soldiers. You know, my, my, uh, my little safety briefing was, you know, uh, the the D's. You know, don't do drugs. Um, don't drink and drive. Fucking dames, Dames, will get you in trouble, right, Make sure you verify their age, Um, and uh, uh, don't do dumb shit, right, All the all the D's and uh, and then the last thing I tell them is if you need me, call me, If you don't need me, don't call me. Um, and you know, I've had, I've had, I've had soldiers, Um, they, they uh, picked up prostitutes in bars that they didn't know was prostitutes, took them to hotel rooms, fucked them and then, when the pimp came to the gather, the money, neither in a predicament.

Speaker 3: 1:00:01

They're like all right, Well, let us call someone to pay you. And then they call me and I'd come down here and I'm like, listen, bro, I'm not fucking paying you. Well, these motherfuckers had a service. Da, da, da, da, da. And I'm like, well, the one guy um, the one guy, uh, Williams, he's from, he was from Orville. He had so many kids that he, um child support, took so much of his paycheck. He had like 50 bucks at the end of the month so he he'd buy, he'd buy a guy on a wild turkey and that and uh, you know. So I'm like, well, that motherfucker right there has no money. And I'm like, and old girl is probably pregnant right now. I'm like cause.

Speaker 4: 1:00:50

I mean.

Speaker 3: 1:00:51

I'm like, cause, that dude has like four kids, the fucking three baby mamas or whatever. She's probably pregnant. So, uh, I don't know what to tell you. Um, I had, you know, I had one guy, he, he couldn't get into army for six months because he had so much methamphetamines in his system and he just kept failing drug tests. They're like you got to quit doing drugs. He's like I'm sober, you know. They're like, yeah, right, dude, you're fucking melting the bottom out of the bottle, you know. And uh, he, he would shake.

Speaker 3: 1:01:34

We were in Kuwait and this motherfucker shaking on the top and I went what the fuck man? And uh, yeah, um, you know, you had those dudes that, um, and Hanson was one of them. He, he turned in, he turned into a good soldier because I wasn't going to allow anything less. You know what I mean. So I'm like, bro, we can do this one or two ways, the easy way or the hard way. Either way, the end result will be the same. You'll conform or you'll get the fuck out.

Speaker 3: 1:02:12

And and uh, yeah, so you know he would come. He would come the formation not shaved. I'm like, hey, bro, you know you didn't shave today. Yes, I did. Uh, no, you didn't like, clearly, you didn't shave. You know now, if you put shaving cream on and you put a razor to your face and you removed the shaving cream but there's still hair there, you didn't shave. You attempted to shave, I'll give you that, you know, but you didn't shave. Like you understand the difference. Shaving is removing hair from your face and uh, yeah, so I mean, but again, I got, I got um re re, um recoup soldiers that, uh, this dude, you know he was a bad apple over there. All right, um, I got soldiers like that, I got NCOs like that. Um, they were, they were bad apples over here.

Speaker 3: 1:03:14

Oh, fuck this guy, we'll give him the vickers and vickers will fucking fuck him up. Right, and it wasn't it, it wasn't necessarily fucking him up, it was out of every, like you know, he would get fucked up in them other platoons, but they wasn't coming in on Saturday, they wasn't coming in on their off time. All right, you know what I mean. When. When you know I'm, I'll fuck you up from nine to nine to five, but when I want to go home, you get to go home. No, I'll fuck you up on Saturday, right, I'll fuck you up on Saturday at 10pm when you're trying to get fucked up.

Speaker 3: 1:03:58

Oh, that Sunday you go to church, uh, no, sir. Okay, then noon, be here. Oh well, I was going to go to church, cool, go to church. 2pm, be here. Well, I have no, no, that's cool. 3pm be. I'm like that's what Sunday we're doing. We're doing that road march. We're doing you know what I mean.

Speaker 3: 1:04:22

Like my team leaders didn't get that, my squad leaders didn't get that. But from that soldier to me, as the platoons aren't worth, here Sunday, it wasn't just the team, it was all of us. We're all part of this retraining because if he fails, the team leader failed, the squad leader failed, I failed. You know what I mean. So we're all here and they quickly, you know, fucking team leaders, fucking pissed off, fucking, you know. And I'm like, hey, problem gets fixed, but it gets fixed. You know, former, go to form. Yeah, you know we, we had a guy was saying the other day.

Speaker 3: 1:05:01

We had a guy, Um, we were going to Iraq. He didn't want to go to Iraq because he had a girlfriend close by about an hour away and he went AWOL. And cool, go AWOL. They're like well, we know where he's at, he's on our way, let's go get him. Like fuck that dude, we'll drop him from roles and he can deal with what comes. Well, then he comes back because his girlfriend's grandfather was a Vietnam veteran and he's like no, no, no, no, my watch on me, right, so he comes back. We put him, we put him under Um, he's staying up in the company. We put CQ on him, um, and he went fucking AWOL again and they fucking dropped him. They dropped him from the roles, but the grandfather calls me and he's like hey, I got this kid. Can I bring him back? Absolutely, he's like will you take him to Iraq? Absolutely, like, all right. He's like um, he needs, he needs to grow up.

Speaker 1: 1:06:23

Yeah, I got you.

Speaker 3: 1:06:25

So we put him on a plane, we take him to Iraq. In Iraq he is a stellar, stellar, fucking soldier, fucking. Uh. First, you know you get paid on the first and 15th or whatever. So the first pay period comes out, squad leader comes up and he's like, hey, um, this guy didn't get paid. I'm like, well, we had to, we had to stop pay on. I'm like, so that it takes a minute for that to pick up. I'm like, well, when it picks up, he'll get back paid. Da, da, da, da, da, da. So the next pay? Uh, this guy didn't get paid.

Speaker 3: 1:07:09

I'm like, all right, take you down the pack and and and figure it out. Well, he takes him down to pack. This dude is not in the system, he's dropped from fucking roles. So I'm like, all right, that dude stays in the fuck, he stays in the fucking barracks. And, uh, he was on extra duty, right. So I'm like you stay in the fucking chew, you don't move. He's like, uh, sorry, I have extra duty, he might know you don't fucking move. So I go talk to the first arm and the first arm is like fuck that guy. I'm like I get it. However, if a fucking mortar comes through his fucking chew right now. He don't. He's not an army, bro. You know what I mean.

Speaker 4: 1:07:57

No death for Tootie. No, that's not that shit.

Speaker 3: 1:07:59

I'm like you want. He's like, yeah, fuck that dude, he shouldn't win it. I get all that, I get it. And so he don't show up for fucking extra duty. So you know, of course Sarmagier wants the chain of command up there. I walk up there. He's like where the fuck is this guy at? I'm like he's in his chew, why. And I explain, I'm like we can't make him do extra duty because he's not any other things Army. He's like, well, he's on the fucking. Yeah, I get all that.

Speaker 3: 1:08:37

We need to put him on the first thing, smoking back to the United States, hope the plane don't fucking crash, put him back in the fucking army and then then you can send him back over. But you know, and they finally, they finally. But yeah, end up kicking him out, not kicking him out, he was already out. They just Like what the fuck man? But he was. You know a lot of people do a lot of dumb things for pussy and that that was the angle there. And you know, to his credit, his Grandfather wouldn't allow that shit. But again, he wasn't a bad soldier.

Speaker 3: 1:09:24

You know, I had soldiers clap off a pistol in the barracks. Right, cq or staff duty, does the right thing and fucking, you know, and this dude gets his pistol taken from him, put in the arms room, he gets Article 15, all that shit. Boom, he gets booted out of the army. He goes back to Cali and he calls me. He's like a Sarnvig. What's the chances I get my piece back? Bro, you might want to go ahead and buy another one man. He's like yeah, but I got that dishonorable discharge. I can't, I can't get one, my bad bro.

Speaker 3: 1:10:14

You know, I mean, but I don't, I can't point that one dude. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 1:10:24

Yeah, I didn't have any that were really bad. I was pretty strict on them. So most of my guys you know like we've talked before. I did PCS and I'd get a phone call or an email hey thanks. I'd have been fucking lost when I got here.

Speaker 1: 1:10:42

But I Really the worst soldier I know was my father During the duty day. He was a great fucking soldier. He's got all kinds of stuff you know like doing his job. He was absolutely awesome. But he was in from 80 to 84 when they were really starting to crack down on drug use and my dad partied oh, I mean a fucking lot.

Speaker 1: 1:11:15

So Monday through Friday when he was in uniform he was fucking Squared away in the evenings. On the weekends he was fucked up from the time he took the uniform off till it was time to put it back on, and so ultimately, that's what did he mean? He got he was in Korea, put himself on fucking rehab to keep from getting his dick hammered and it was supposed to stay there. It followed him. He couldn't keep himself sober and they talked to him about reenlisting and he's like I ain't realist, I'm done Like this ain't for me, like I won't get fucked up all the time and you fuckers won't let me get fucked up all the time. And company commander, 13 days before he was supposed to get out, they chaptered him out. He had a general under other than honorable conditions for his third drug rehab failure. He's like I'm done in 13 fucking days and they're like, nope, you're done now and so that's so. Yeah, so he's the, he's the. He's the big shit baggy for.

Speaker 3: 1:12:28

But I, you know, sitting here contemplate. The worst soldier I've ever been around was my team leader when I was a private Sergeant. Fucking Bush, if you're listening, eat a dick, fuck that guy.

Speaker 1: 1:12:45

Sergeant Bush eat a dick man.

Speaker 3: 1:12:47

Now I've had quite a few bad NCOs. Yeah, yeah, but I'm saying this this fucking guy, this fucking guy, he everything he's ever done, he, everything I did was absolutely wrong. No matter what everything he he would, he would say that 105 trailer needs moved.

Speaker 3: 1:13:14

Right, I'm like all right and I get a couple other profits. They let's go move this 105 trailer. And he was like what are you doing? I'm like we're moving to 105 trailer. He's like I didn't, I didn't, I give the orders. I want you to move the 105 trip, roger. So I'd go move the 105 truck.

Speaker 3: 1:13:38

Fucking road wheels for an M 48 tank. Right, they're probably 60, 70 pounds per road wheel. He's like go up top and get to and get to. You have 10 minutes. So I'm like, well, if I have 10 minutes, I have to bring them both back at one time. Right, so I put one on each soldier and carry them back. Shit like that. Right, Nothing, nothing I did on the tank was right. My driving was wrong. Did you see that barrier? Hit that barrier? I like I didn't hit the barrier. You know it's he was. He was five foot three, four, whatever. He looked like a fire hydrant, right, just a little pudgy guy. It looked like a fire hydrant.

Speaker 3: 1:14:35

So the one day we're going out to the field and again it's like the first field problem. We're going on and I'm in an AVO, be the bridge, armored vehicle launch bridge, and that's what I'm driving. So the the driver's cupola and commander's cupola side by side. Each we each have our own hatch to get in, but when you drop the seat where the instrument panel is to the side of us, you can see through there. So he can see through me, anyways. So the spaghetti cable on my CVC helmet came off right, so I couldn't hear anything. So I dropped the seat to grab my spaghetti cable, I look over and his dude's beating his dick. So I fucking put that thing in part. The convoy is fucking leaving my truck or my tank to stop. I get the fuck out. So heart my platoon's on. He comes up. What's going on? I'm like so, I'm Bush is beating the dick. And so he comes around. He's like Vickers, get in there and drive this fucking tank. I'm like Roger, so I get in there, fucking get back on the mic. He's like hey, man, you know he had his whining, fucking voice. I'm like hey, bro, like you need to quit beating your dick. Right, like I don't, I don't play that shit. So we go out to the field and we set up now in Korea In the early nineties, if you took your MRE to Ajima, she'll, she'll give you a bowl of ramen, some Yaki Mandu and in a in a Pepsi.

Speaker 3: 1:16:29

Well, for the MRE you can get a bowl of ramen and a Pepsi for a fat dude. You know, for a big guy. I didn't like MRE, so I was always at Ajima's tent. It's like a sourbush. We'd be like here, mre, go Go get some ramen. And he was always sending me over there because he was always beating his dick, always be always beating his dick. And then you know, and then, um, so he, he's fucking, he's undressing me one day just Digging in my ass. And I had enough and I'm like you know, fucking, I need moved, I need to.

Speaker 3: 1:17:13

You know, I go talk to Sarn Hard, I'm like I need a new fucking squad leader. I'm like, and he's like how about we? We put you in an ace which is a vehicle by myself. Oh, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, fuck, yeah, right. So then they put another private in with him and I'm like hey bro, that dude beats his dick. He's like, nah, nah, I'm like, all right. Then he comes back to me and he's like man, he fucking beats his dick, right, and then fucking. So Sarn Bush. Sarn Bush tried to blame it on golf. You know golf war syndrome. He has post traumatic stress from golf war Right. So that's where you know my fucking, my uh disdain for the hundred hour war comes from, because this motherfucker, the only the only fucking you know uh ailment he has for his post traumatic stress is a fucking sore dick.

Speaker 1: 1:18:15

Fuck me so they beat Saddam in a hundred hours, so he had to beat his dick for a hundred more, or like fuck, I mean this dude.

Speaker 3: 1:18:27

this dude had like hundreds of fucking VHS tapes that he fucking loaned out Right straight up movies, not not porn movies you would think they'd be all porn. But but you go down there and he fucking have you signed this log. I didn't get no fucking videos from him, but he had all these fucking you know back in the day, them, them, cabinets that hold. He had like all over his room. They want the fuck. Yeah, I'm the movie man.

Speaker 1: 1:19:01

That's how I made money in tech school. I'm the movie man. Yeah my dad sent me care packages of porn and I had fucking ran it out. It was when I was in tech school. We had three wall lockers in the room but only two guys in the room, and so the middle wall locker, the bottom two drawers it was just fucking porn. They come in, do room inspections and they've went. They'd open the door and they just look at me and I'm like I'm allowed to have it Now like that's a lot of fucking porn.

Speaker 3: 1:19:28

I'm like hey now I also had a team leader. He wasn't well, he was a, he was a squad leader in my first platoon at Fort Stewart, sergeant acley. Yeah, so I'm acley, I Was in first between, or I was in first squad. He was in, he was the, the third squad squad leader, and him and my squad leader were boys, sergeant Cummings from Florida. And Sergeant Cummings had His hat was rolled twice. That's how country is motherfucker. His bdu hat was rolled, you know it had a role in it and then the sides were rolled up. That's how country that motherfucker was. And he had this Ford Ranger oh, we're fucking rangers jacked up.

Speaker 3: 1:20:23

Anyways, I had, I had a I rock z28 T tops. You know, big-body, I rock, and we were out in the field or whatever, and that that motherfucking car gave me so much problems if it sat more than two days I had to jump it, that fucking, all this shit. And so I'm, I'm, everyone leaves and I'm still in the in the parking lot fucking with my car. And here comes Sergeant acley and Sergeant Cummings and Sergeant acley. He says something and I'm like I'm, you know, trying to fix my car, and he's like don't get smart, private, I'm like Roger Sarge. And he said something. And then, dude, I'm sitting in my car, dude swings on and hits me several times, right so, and he's like he said something. So I get out of the car, I lift him up and just dropping on his head, and Sergeant Cummings is like whoa and the first son from another company. He was walking out of the motor pool.

Speaker 3: 1:21:48

Now we're in the parking lot of the boat. He's walking and all he sees is a fucking private. Because I'm in uniform and I pick up a guy in uniform and he comes over and, wow, he snatches me up. He's like who's your squad leader? I'm like this guy and he's like we're going over and we all went to the fucking star majors office, right then, and they're like what happened? And, to his credit, sarge Cummings was like well, he's like well, private vickers smarted off the sarn, you know. And I'm like I didn't. And he's like and then you know, sarn hit private drickers and private vickers and, and you know, picked him up and threw him down, right, and and they're like all right, a Sergeant vickers or a private vickers, you can't pick up NCOs and throw them down. Roger Sarge, major, you're dismissed. Never seen, I never seen them. My squad leader and Sarn at kids. Never saw him again.

Speaker 3: 1:23:15

Never saw him again, that was, and Came back to work on Monday Like what a fuck. And then like, because I was like, and yeah, never saw him again. I don't know whatever happened to me, but that was back in the day when we wrestled in the field. It was, you know, we, we, we fucking duct tape my, my obtuse, on Sarn Henry. We duct tape him, put him in the back of a home V and I mean Sarn Henry was a E6 Patoons aren't and Like he's. He's the guy that wanted me to go all army because I'm fucking dudes up In the field and he's like man, you could wrestle. I'm like, yeah, he's like, because he was an all-army bowler Not as cool, but you know. So he's like man, you need to, you need to go the.

Speaker 1: 1:24:19

Navy needs somebody to compete against it, right and? But yeah, Sarn Henry was.

Speaker 3: 1:24:25

Sarn Henry was a dude. We would run and he, he was the guy. He would be in the back of the runs and he would scream hellhounds on your tail. That's where it comes from, hellhounds on your tail. And so when I, my squad motto was hit squad, hit squad. And then my baton motto were the hellhounds. So that's where that stems from. To good Christian name, good fine.

Speaker 1: 1:24:58

Fine Christian name. Well, it was one of those things where.

Speaker 3: 1:25:05

Because someone asked me one time like, why? Why, hellhounds, you know, and I'm like, well, you know, cerberus was the guardian Of hell. He's a three-headed dog. Combat engineers we are, you know, survivability, mobility and Counter mobility. So that's a three-headed dog and we, we were proficient in all that. So you know, it made sense. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, fucks our bus. And no, okay, I'm listening to this story and all I can focus on is Sergeant Bush beats his dick.

Speaker 1: 1:25:42

Yeah, and then you had Sergeant Cummings, right.

Speaker 3: 1:25:50

Yeah, that's pretty funny. That's pretty funny. You would think Sergeant Cummings would be the one that beats his dick all the time.

Speaker 1: 1:25:58

Right, right, right, yeah, and he so our Cummings his, his.

Speaker 3: 1:26:03

What I remember most about him, besides his hat, is the old Omelette, omelette, mre. Yeah, ham, egg, and cheese, on what?

Speaker 2: 1:26:17

that's all he ate. I busted up the crackers and all he was with the hot sauce and he wouldn't. It couldn't use Tabasco.

Speaker 3: 1:26:27

He uses Louisiana hot sauce because Tabasco tastes like massing ill. That's, that's Massing ill. I'm like Anyway, but yeah every, every omelette and holy fuck the fucking when he busted ass.

Speaker 1: 1:26:50

I Laugh because we did a one-week Exercise, joint exercise with NATO, and we were a mop for in a fucking truck riding around the flight line and I've been eating fucking MRE's all week and, fuck man, the gas was just unreal. At the end of the day I'd get out. Fuck, pull my fucking mop, just Stay. A fucking ass Comes up out of my mop gear.

Speaker 3: 1:27:16

That's how that's how it was during the invasion, because we were in mock three for 22 days. You know, like fuck and yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:27:26

So once we got the bag, dad, and we were able to get out, fuck well, the guy I'm riding with all week, his name's Phil and we're fucking, we're cruising around and I'm just fucking. I'm like I said I'm just tearing them up. Man, I could just feel him in there and I Was probably like day six of this fucking exercise. I fucking was wrapping one loose and all of a sudden I just hear because Phil's driving At the time I just hear oh, it's in my mask, it's in my mask, it's in my mask. He fucking went behind a haze, roll the fucking window down to the truck, cracked his fucking mask. He's like trying to suck some fresh air up in there. Yeah, it's in my mask, it's in my mask, it's in my mask. I burnt through the fucking charcoal on a mop. Yeah, it's in my mask.

Speaker 4: 1:28:19

I got my commander a couple times when I was gunning for him in Afghanistan because you know he's, he's running the BFT on the passenger side and I'm staying in between him and the driver gun and and you know we didn't we didn't have good food over there. So I and you guys know I've got issues. Anyway, I'd spend that turd around so I knew my ass was to him and I just let one go and I could feel somebody pulling on my pant leg and that hit me in the leg. I was like, hey, sir, how's it going? He's like damn it, duke, you gotta stop doing that.

Speaker 2: 1:28:51

I fucked it up, that's, you guys are talking about the soldiers. You know doing stuff for the women, yeah, or for the ladies. You know, had that guy in Germany, not a bad troop. You know, soldiers do stupid stuff most certainly for women.

Speaker 2: 1:29:08

Well, I mean most guys do shit for women so Well, especially dumb infantry soldiers. One Sunday nights at 1130, I was on CQ and these two clowns come, come down. And this is me as a sergeant. I had a B3 with me on CQ. These two guys come down, they're all dressed up Sunday night.

Speaker 2: 1:29:35

You know PT Monday morning. I said it's what you guys doing, like we're going up to nerf. As German We's a Vilsack, so we's about 45 minutes from Nuremberg. So what you guys going to? We're going up to Nuremberg, sarnhaney, up to the red light district. I'm like you're driving up you guys ain't got no cars.

Speaker 2: 1:29:53

I said that's expensive cab ride. We're hopping. The train went on a bond, roger, I said uh, I said you know we got PT in the morning. All right, roger, we'll be back, say Roger. I Said, have fun, so I log it in the 1594 and a CQ log. And you know the night goes on. Of course they don't make it back.

Speaker 2: 1:30:20

This is already known that they weren't gonna make it back and Squallier comes up me platoon sergeant like you see, back Extra, and I can't remember the other do's name but his, his name I never forget. I was like, yeah, so they went to Nuremberg last night. Man, so like 1130 they go. What the fuck were they doing? I said they're going to the whorehouse, what?

Speaker 3: 1:30:40

up the red light district.

Speaker 2: 1:30:42

I got medius. So they they called. Now you know I went home. They called like 1130 or 12 that afternoon said they're still alive and trying to get back the bill sack. So they got back course. They got wore out, they decided to give them corrective training instead of giving them an article 15. So I come up one CQ again like on Thursday, you know. So Squallier comes up to me because they just wear them out any.

Speaker 2: 1:31:16

He was whatever you want to do to him, you know, so I had him get in Mop for front back goes. You know how to run into different CQs to get stupid stuff, asking stupid questions. You know Class A inspection whatever.

Speaker 2: 1:31:31

I could come up with. I was tearing these guys up. That's Squallier one, a platoon sergeant, one like Roger, and I had him till midnight and so they're. They're pretty worn down man, because every Not only I could do it, every CQ was going to stone from different platoons, you know, for two weeks.

Speaker 2: 1:31:53

And so Baxter, this, this cat, was ugly. He's about five foot two and he looked like a little treasure trolling. He was just a little ugly infantryman. And so I got done wearing them out and I was just talking to him. You know they knew what they done was wrong. You know what I mean. And they took it with a grain of salt and it was all good. I'm like I said so is it really worth it, you know? So going up there and getting laid to get worn out like this, and and Baxter didn't say anything and he was a telling Baxter I'm like what's up? He goes telling if I didn't get laid, sardin, like what. He goes telling his buddy and he goes they want any fucking sardines too ugly. I said bro, I said you can't do that.

Speaker 2: 1:32:52

I said bro, I said you couldn't get laid in a monkey whorehouse bag of bananas. That's like I said. That is the saddest thing I've ever seen. I said you couldn't even get him to get laid in the whorehouse they won't have nothing to do with a man and then spent the next two weeks getting and then getting tore up for nothing yeah poor dude oh my god, that's or dude, poor dude.

Speaker 1: 1:33:18

But he was a he.

Speaker 2: 1:33:19

I tell you, man, he was an ugly little fella. I mean that's why he's going to the whorehouse you know what I? Mean, and they even turned him down.

Speaker 1: 1:33:35

Fucking he got to find him a blind woman.

Speaker 3: 1:33:39

Yeah, so the fucking second time I'm in Korea. They were out in the field and I'm up in Charlie company 44th engineers. From the third floor of our barracks you can see North Korean. We were that close and we we called our barracks TRP one because it was so Camp house itself was in a mountain and all the we were on the backside of the mountain facing North Korea. So Every morning I woke up, I looked out and saw North Korea and so, anyways, I'm on CQ.

Speaker 3: 1:34:28

They get back from the field and they're going down to the villa and these two NCOs come down and and they leave. Perfume comes, they come back in and One of one of the NCOs are Vennetti. That is now, if I didn't go there, stops and he's talks to me. Who are you? Da, da, da, da. Like I'm new, you know I'm a new NCO. In second tune means like oh, you're probably taking my spot. Da, da, da, da. Yeah, okay, whatever, they go upstairs and I don't know, 15, 20 minutes later. Now these two are hanging out. Buddy, buddy, 15, 20 minutes later, someone yells from the third floor down to the CQ CQ, get up here. I'm like fuck, I go up there and it's. It's the fucking op sergeant right, which I don't know, but I didn't know at the time, but he's an E6 Op sergeant. He's in his fucking boxers fucking. Hey, these two down here are fighting.

Speaker 3: 1:35:50

Okay, I look down the hallway and it's fucking Vennetti and the other guy that he was with. I, vennetti's on top of dude with a pair of shears and you know, the guy's laying on his back, both hands are on Vennetti's wrist, trying to keep these fucking. It looked like the scene from Saving private Ryan, I mean, like the dudes on the dudes on the ground. No, no, no, no, you know, I mean it's. And so I'm like I see this, I'm walking down, I'm like, hey, and fucking Vennetti, he don't even look at he don't even look at me. He's steadily trying to shove these shears Through this guy's chest. So I get down there a little closer. Hey, you know, get the fuck off of him. He's not. I'm like, all right, so I just kick him in his side of head. His head hit the door, jam Boop, slump over. Oh boy, oh boy, he's like he gets out and fucking, we pulled dude out in the hallway.

Speaker 3: 1:36:59

I go to the end of the hall, call the first art like a we have a situation. You need me to come up there. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you need to come up here. He comes up there. He's like what happened? I told him. He's like why'd you hit him? Like he was gonna fucking kill this fucking guy. I'm like I I said I yelled to get him. He's like, well, you're big enough to pull him off, like probably. He's like, well, why'd you hit him?

Speaker 3: 1:37:27

I'm like that Seemed the easiest way to fucking deescalate the situation. He's like all right, we'll talk about that later. Like all right. So Again, he was in my betune to start on some of the gun. So I'm gone's, leaving after a start Veneti, and so I'm the highest ranking E6, so I'm gonna take the betunes on. And I, you know, I got promoted like in February and this is like May, so I'm a couple months time in grade E6, I'm gonna take over the betune. So I got you know, sorry, but guns out doing Whatever the fuck he was doing clearing or whatever.

Speaker 3: 1:38:18

And First on, hands me back Sarn, veneti's fucking NCO. You're Like all right, he's like a, have some got make these corrections. Da, da, da, da, da, my cool. And I look at this motherfucker and it's all fucking excellence, all excellence. I'm like all right, shit cool. And uh, so I fucking run a copy of that motherfucker and I just throw it in my little file and and, uh, so Sarin begun. It was like hey, um, I'm not going to do a change a radar on you, since you're the baton, so first on can just pick you up and then you can. You'll get Time the whole year. And I'm like all right, so I'll run it by first. I'll go in the first one. I'm like hey, sarma Godson, he don't want to do a change of radar on me that you can do. He's like no, he's like you've been here 90 days, right, yep, he's like he'll do a change of radar.

Speaker 3: 1:39:28

I'm like Roger. So if fucking God does a change of radar, he puts fucking needs improvement. Because I assaulted another NCO and I'm like, hey, bro, we. He's like no, he's like you hit, you hit another NCO, that's. I'm like um, I'm like the Sarvin, any have a needs improvement on his shit. He's like, yeah, I'm like, does he? He's like um, are you questioning my integrity? And I'm like pull out the file, throw that shit down. I'm like, listen, I don't know this guy from Adam right, I don't know what he did when I wasn't here so he might deserve all excellence. I'm like my my one encounter with this motherfucker. He tried to kill somebody else. I was like if I need a needs improvement for stopping him from killing someone else, then he definitely needs a needs improvement. So, um, which turned out, neither one of us got the needs improvement. So I'm like cool, I don't know it's, it's just, you know, go back to what you were saying. Like when, as as an engineer, when we went to um, uh, be knock out.

Speaker 3: 1:40:59

Uh basic non commission office course or uh, advanced non commission office, they have, um, they have like these um barracks that are like hotel type deal it's, it's a gentlemen course now. And uh, so it. You know they're pretty cool, like two bedrooms, a kitchenette and a bathroom you you shared with your, your roommate. But you know, day one they tell you don't fuck the maids. You're like, okay, fair enough, no, don't fuck the maids. And you know they say don't fuck the maids, like don't drink Clorox, or, you know, spill hot coffee on your lap. They say that because people do. And then it becomes problems.

Speaker 3: 1:41:53

And uh, yeah, so like, then there was codes, like if you washed your own glass and you turned it upside right side up the set of upside down, that was, that was code, that you wanted to fuck the maid, and right. But if you don't know it and you just, you know, anyways, they'll put their fucking number on the dry erase board outside your room, like in your, outside your bedroom. They'll just put their number and fucking, you know. So, like, yeah, so you call it. You're like hey, hey, like, who's this this? So so who's this? Um, this is the person I'm like, I'm calling a number that was outside my fucking room. Oh, what room. Uh, such and such.

Speaker 3: 1:42:44

Oh yeah you, you turned your glass upside down. So that means you wanted to know. That means I fucking wash my own glass and I said it next to the sink. That's what that means. Oh, okay, nevermind. Then you're like, oh, what the fuck? Uh, hold on, hold on. So you're saying don't fuck the maids, don't fuck the maids, so fuck the maids Um that made it kind of easy.

Speaker 3: 1:43:13

Right, listen, it's, it's for the winterwood, it's, it's the middle of. They call it lost in the woods for a reason. Uh, here, here's. Here's another briefing. We got at a knock. Best, best place to pick up women in in um, fort Leonardwood is, uh, walmart after midnight. My, my small group leader, that's, that's straight from the small group leaders. Uh, best place to pick up women, um, at Leonardwood is Walmart after midnight.

Speaker 3: 1:43:50

But I, you know it's, it's one of those things that I was stationed at Leonardwood and, uh, you know it's a, it's a treasure trove, it's a treasure trove of crack heads. Um, like, if I don't know, like, it's one of those things. Like, I, I stayed in a 20 foot travel trailer when I was, when I was at Leonardwood. You know I was a geographical bachelor, um and um, the the opportunity to bring people back to the, uh, the homestead was there, um, but it's one of those things that the ones, the ones in the club that you would want to bring back to a 20 foot, 30 year old travel trailer, they're not coming back, and the ones that are willing to come back there, you don't want to bring. So, so what you're saying is that if my dad went out, there he'd have the pick of the litter.

Speaker 3: 1:44:46

Yes, he would, he would definitely crack head Barbie.

Speaker 3: 1:44:55

I mean, you know, and Leonardwood, for you know, it's come a long way. It's now the fucking maneuvers center of fucking support or some shit, whatever they fucking call it. Um, it has a C burn out there, fucking MPs, um, and engineers 88 mics are still there, fucking so it's it's. It's grown Like when I was there. Originally they didn't have a Walmart, uh, but you know, like most military bases, it'll have a fucking tattoo parlor, a fucking pawn shop and a right outside the gate and a check cash.

Speaker 2: 1:45:39

Cash cash advance place outside of every military base.

Speaker 3: 1:45:46

And they have a Daisy's health spa at Fort Leonardwood. It was off limits in 1993, when I was in AIT. Don't go to the days Daisy's health spa. When I was back there in 2015,. It was still high Robin's hug, it was still fucking off limits.

Speaker 2: 1:46:04

So I mean it's. It's one of those. Um, it was the other job that the maids worked at right.

Speaker 3: 1:46:14

Um, but you know they had some. They had some below standard. I mean, I went, I went to Leonardwood for a supper school 28 days and uh, I was in the middle of the day. I was in the middle of the day, we, we went from Fort Benning to Fort Leonardwood in a 15 passenger van. So at the end of the 15 days we still had a 15 passenger van.

Speaker 3: 1:46:41

So we're like we're going to go out and celebrate that we graduated supper school and we go, we go to this bar I can't even remember the name of it, it's not there still, because I looked, um, and there's a 300 pound female behind the bar, there's a 98 pound female servant and there's a pregnant female upstripping Right. So just throw that in the memory bank. So we're so now we would we've been in a field for two weeks Um, and I mean suck him. And so we're throwing him down. And uh, bar closes and these girls are like, hey, there's an after hour spot If you guys want to go. And we're like, yeah, we want to go. They're like, all right, go get some beer and meet us back here. We, we have to close up, like all right. So we go out and get some beer. We come back. Yeah, the after hour spot is their place. Now. There's probably fucking nine, 10 of us. There's three of them. Well, three and a half Cause you know once once pregnant, right?

Speaker 3: 1:48:05

So you know, nobody wants the 98 pounder cause she looks like a straight crack, or nobody wants the 300 pounder, so everybody's like well, what damage can you do?

Speaker 4: 1:48:17

Damage is fucking done.

Speaker 3: 1:48:18

Done over here, oh Jesus. Well, that's what's great about pregnant girls.

Speaker 1: 1:48:23

Cause you know they'll put out and you can't get a pregnant. Oh my God.

Speaker 3: 1:48:27

I'm like, oh fuck. So yeah, graduation the next day was not, it was painful, it was fucking painful, holy smokes. But I will tell you, fuck, some of them boys smashed that 300 pounder. I'm not one of them, I'm not one of them, I'm not one, but some of them boys did it.

Speaker 1: 1:48:54

You get the 98 pounder. You get your pick a pounder.

Speaker 3: 1:48:57

Oh yeah it man, which, which is funny, you know, uh, one of my old, one of my old PL's, dirty Joe Sarisi. Um, he was a E seven and then went fucking green to gold. So I come in we were over at Fort Stewart training or whatever. I come back, this dude's sitting uh in my office and I'm like who the fuck are you? You know, old, gray hair, fucking silver, back by the fucker.

Speaker 1: 1:49:35

I'm like who the?

Speaker 3: 1:49:35

fuck are you? He's like I'm your lieutenant, like how fucking long were you in college, bro? Like how long were you in college, man, god damn. He's like no, I was the E seven. And then, you know, I was like why the fuck would you do that? Then what do you mean? I'm like you went from being in charge and now being responsible. I'm like he's like no, no, no, no, no, I'm still in charge. Uh, no, I ain't, no, I ain't but one motherfucker in charge of this.

Speaker 3: 1:50:10

Between. That's me Like sorry, and uh, but we're fucking, we're fucking. Uh, we're cool as fuck. So we go, we go to fucking. So I tell him I'm like hey, you don't, you don't drop no soldiers, you don't fucking correct, no soldiers, none of that shit. I'm like all that NCO shit you used to do gotta forget about.

Speaker 3: 1:50:35

And uh, we're in Iraq and uh, we go out. You know we're doing rock clearance, so we're going fob to fob and when we go to another fob, they'll be like hey, there's, there's two packs at this fob we need you to pick up, like all right. So we go pick them up and uh, throw, throw them in the throw them in the trucks. Give you know, give the briefing, throw them in the trucks and they put on headsets. Everybody in the head, everybody in the patrol has on headsets because, like I said, rock clearance is easy enough for a monkey. You can do. You know, you look out the window, something looks odd. You say all stop, and then we interrogate. So that's what I tell people. I'm like I don't give a fuck. He was like, well, I've never been out on the road before. I'm like don't matter if it looks odd, just say all stop, we'll stop, we'll interrogate it, like you know, okay. So his first question he's like hey, are the, the packs on the net?

Speaker 1: 1:51:38

We're like yeah, that.

Speaker 3: 1:51:39

Roger is like uh, pack number one. And you know the one of them would be like which one is that? You now, now it's you right, you're pack number one. The other guy is pack number two. You'd be like, all right, what's your biggest and oldest, and biggest and oldest what? Biggest and oldest female you've ever fucked? And uh, and then that starts.

Speaker 3: 1:52:09

You know so, the one day we have the brigade XO, xo on the, on the, uh, we're taking him, uh, back from leave. Right, he, he came off leave and he didn't want to wait on a patrol from whatever. So he's coming back with us and and fucking true, fucking dirty Joe Sarisi fashion, he's like hey, we got a new pack with us tonight. He's like uh, pack number one. Can you hear us? He's like yes, he's like all right, um, he's like we, uh, we asked this question. Now, all the everybody rides with us what's your biggest and oldest? And he's like biggest and oldest what? What's the biggest and oldest woman you've ever fucked? I'm not answering that question. Come see me after this. He's like you asked everybody that like yeah, that's, that's our thing, that's what we do. But yeah, I mean, that's the kind of shit I got in trouble for, though, being just unfiltered.

Speaker 1: 1:53:18

We were in the maintenance bay one day and uh got all the guys were working here and I'm like, all right, here's a question that's plaguing society today. A man says if he can't get it, he's like I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna get it. A man says if he could suck his own dick, he'd never leave the house. And one of the guys like yeah yeah, I'm like all right, all right.

Speaker 1: 1:53:39

So now you've opened yourself up to the follow-on question Do you spit or do you swallow? Because no guy wants a bitch that won't swallow his spits. But do you really want to swallow your own shit? And then over the loudspeaker I hear Sarge neighbor, we need you into the NCO office. I was like fuck, so I roll up in there. What the fuck is wrong with you? What do you mean? You can't, you can't talk like that. I'm like why not? I'm like does anybody in here complain? No, but there's females out there and they're fucking laughing along with everybody else, like what's the issue? And that was the kind of shit I got trouble for. But nobody ever answered whether they would spit or swallow.

Speaker 3: 1:54:21

Regardless, it's gay.

Speaker 1: 1:54:22

Yeah Well, but is it if you?

Speaker 3: 1:54:23

don't want it yourself. If you suck a dick and you're a man, you're gay. Period Period.

Speaker 1: 1:54:29

So if you beat off a man and you're a man, does that make you gay? Yes, yes. So then you're gay every time you beat off. What I said would you want to suck your own shit? No, and then you said regardless, you're gay. Yeah, you suck a dick, you're gay. And I said if you beat off and you're a man and you're beating off a man, is that gay? Oh, okay. And then you said, yes, I said so.

Speaker 3: 1:54:56

I said so. Does that make you gay when you beat off? I assume you're referring to another man. No, but I guess it in the scenario.

Speaker 1: 1:55:04

in the scenario yeah.

Speaker 3: 1:55:05

Yeah, yeah, I'll be a hypocrite. I'll be a hypocrite on that.

Speaker 1: 1:55:11

Here's a question you think Sergeant Bush would suck his own? Most certainly.

Speaker 2: 1:55:19

Most certainly From the sounds of it. Probably a lot of another dude do it too. Most certainly.

Speaker 1: 1:55:24

I ain't say you're going to suck a dick, but he leave it in his mouth till it went soft yeah.

Speaker 3: 1:55:28

And there's nothing wrong, listen, there's nothing wrong with men who suck dick. I ain't saying that you just not suck a mind.

Speaker 1: 1:55:35

And I'm not sucking yours. I'm just Just, I might fuck a bitch with you, turn her into a pair of Chinese finger cuffs, but we ain't touching swords, this is.

Speaker 2: 1:55:48

Yeah, I mean he's talking about. You know how the the NCOS school was supposed to be gentlemen's courses you know, and so I went down to four Jackson for recruiting school relax and. Jackson and 1999 as the E five commode will then.

Speaker 2: 1:56:08

So I think they're back to that, this standard now. But back in the day you used to have to do height weight tape, if you're acquired, and then PT test. So I went in as a Sunday we had to check in, but the PT test was Monday morning. The guy did my height weight and he goes. They started. He goes uh, you get done here, he goes and he just stand by and he's off to you for a minute and I'm like Roger, he's like uh, he goes, uh, your side burns a little long.

Speaker 2: 1:56:42

Like I said, they're within regulation.

Speaker 2: 1:56:45

I said six, 70 dash ones says they're good. You know, lowest opening of the year. He goes. Well, could you do me a favor and just shorten them up a little bit? I'm like Roger, I didn't take much off, but I like a sixteenth of an inch. I didn't, I said it, the razor barely touched. So he was my instructor, turned out to be my instructor for the course too and I didn't say anything. You know what I mean. So I thought, well, he's happy, I'm, you know, everything's happy, good luck.

Speaker 2: 1:57:15

So this is going on in there. I think I was. I know it was six weeks. It might have been eight weeks as long as school was. So we're down there. It was like week. It's probably like two and a half weeks, then maybe three weeks.

Speaker 2: 1:57:28

Um, I'm getting ready to walk in. There's a master Sergeant there and uh, he had an EIB on those infantry guy and I had mine on it. He's a Sergeant, he goes. Come here for a minute. I was like, well, maybe he's infantry guy and I want us to shoot the shit. And he goes. Uh, everybody else walks in the classroom.

Speaker 2: 1:57:48

It's like who in the fuck do you think you are? I'm like, excuse me, sergeant, you know I prayed or asked you know, and uh, because who in the fuck do you think you are in my school house? Some sideburns out of regulation, you know you're fitting to. You know, uh, be the eyes, you know speak of the army and everybody's going to see you and your fucking sideburns are out of control. I'm like they're within regulation. Sergeant, so lowest open into year. He goes negative, it's the middle of the year. I said negative Sergeant, it's the lowest open here. According to 670 dash one. He was your fucking wrong Sergeant. I said no, sergeant, I'm not. So he goes and gets the instructor and he comes out and, uh, he goes. What's the problem? I hear Sergeant.

Speaker 2: 1:58:31

He goes oh, this fucking young NCO here thinks he knows more than I do, and you know his, his sideburns are out of control. He goes. Well, I told him about the day one he goes. Oh so you've been warned about this before. I was like he asked if I trim him down a little bit, and I did. You know, I'm like he was. You just fucking, you're not compliant. I should kick you out of the school right now. So he's the common down at the fucking school, which I didn't know. You know what I mean. And so this guy's just making a big fucking stink about the shit man he goes. You need to trim them sideburns.

Speaker 2: 1:59:03

So I was like Roger I saw trim some off on you know, tonight and I did and uh so the next day he apologized to me to let me know that I was right about the regulation. It had changed since the last time he had read it, which it didn't you know. So then this guy takes a personal interest in me. The rest of the time I'm into fucking school, it's like. So he's hanging out in the fucking classroom and so then he's uh, so had you know, we had tests and everything that come out. He goes how do you think you did it? On your test start, I said I passed. He goes uh, so, as you know, we went to lunch and come back. He goes. He goes why graded your test? Personally, what did? And I'm like I said why passed? And I give you the how you pass. But just barely I said well, it's a go no go situation here. You know where you could have done better. You need to look at them, regulations or better.

Speaker 2: 2:00:07

So I'm like Roger, you know. So then we're sitting in the classroom again, you know. He comes in and he goes hey, sergeant, you're starting up because I want to take Sergeant Haney for a few minutes. What the fuck is this guy doing, man? He goes, walk with me, sergeant, you know. So we walk down there doing a blood drive in a schoolhouse and he goes I'm going to take you down here. He goes we got a bunch of privates that are getting kicked out of the army for Jackson's also basic training place.

Speaker 2: 2:00:35

He goes I want to take you down here. We're going to talk to somebody. So he was a dick. I got some of what he was doing, you know what I mean. But I'm like this fucking guy. So he's taking me down here and he's these privates are getting kicked out. And he's like he's a private. He goes hi, don't like, oh, you know, they're all looks, they're still in training mode, you know, but they're getting chaptered out. He's like what are you getting kicked out for?

Speaker 2: 2:01:00

Well, my recruiter told me a lie about this and every one of those is the recruiter. You know what I mean. He goes don't be that recruiter, sergeant, because you know you got to do better than them recruiters. You know like so every day, man, man, yeah, the sideburns. So the sideburn saga continues on throughout my career for a little bit. So I had to go up to uh, I was in recruiting battalion Cleveland and our battalion was in the federal building. I had to go up there and see my Sergeant Major and I go in and report to the guy and he throws me out because he says my sideburns are too long, sergeant Major John Giles, and told me not to come back until there's an regulation. I clearly explained to him the regulation and again he tells me I'm wrong.

Speaker 3: 2:01:51

Yeah, I mean, there was. There was guys. I knew guys who carried the regulation with them because of their mustache or their, their haircut or their sideburns, you know, because that's a sticking point. You know, for a lot of people if you're not fucking high and tight, they don't want to they don't want to fucking, you know.

Speaker 3: 2:02:11

I had um, sergeant, major, uh, cqls, you know we do the uh, we do the old uh grow your most mustache out at NTC. See how you know, see what it looks like after 30 days. And, uh, you know, as soon as we get back to the dust bowl, you know you're like oh.

Speaker 3: 2:02:33

I fucking, you know that looks pretty good, you know, like whatever. And he, he, he Vickers. Get that shit off your face. Roger Sarban, right, but I mean, he see, see, cqls, cqls, he's, he's a good dude. He used to go hunting before PT and then he'll show up with fucking deer on the hood of his truck. He was good people, yeah, but yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 2:03:15

Yeah, that's nuts man, like my whole time man. They always bitched about it.

Speaker 3: 2:03:19

Like.

Speaker 2: 2:03:20

I said, you know. I said maybe I'm a year's or low on my motherfucking head. I don't know, you know, you know.

Speaker 3: 2:03:24

But but you know, but the regulation it don't. It don't stipulate how far on your cheek or how. You know what I mean. Like they use the ears as a reference. So, um, yeah, I mean, but some people they, they, they, they got it in, they got it in their head that this is. You know, this is what it is.

Speaker 3: 2:03:47

And you know, like when I went to a knock we had a the, the commandant was a first sergeant and he didn't have a combat patch and he kind of bounced around fricking trade off and uh, so like first, first PT run. Like, yeah, first PT run was like 10 miles in fucking a knock. So you got all sorts of first classes there and you can't fucking leave from the burp and fuck man. So we go in there and like he gives um his briefing and he's like, if you're fat and it looks straight at me, I'm like, bro, if you're fat, won't know about it, this ain't the way to go in. And we do height and weight after the PT test and uh, he's like, oh, I already know you're over, like all right. And then you know, do, do your waist, do your neck, do your waist, do your neck, do your waist, I throw my shirt on. He's like hold on, don't you want to know the results? I said I know the results. I'm like I did bust no tape. He's like, yeah, but um, uh, you perceive it, you know. Um, you look fat, Okay, cool, and uh, and I, I was, I, you know, uh, uh, got injured.

Speaker 3: 2:05:36

You know I got injured during the deployment or whatever, so I I mean all tends to purpose, you know, and uh, yeah, the whole, the whole time, like in his mind I was fat.

Speaker 3: 2:05:51

So, and the same thing, when I went to my last duty station, I just had just had neck surgery, um was still on, like I wasn't supposed to even PCS on fucking profile. But um, like my orders. My orders got pushed out um till later on the following the, to early on the following year, and then they got redone and um, it was one of the things where I'm like, okay, they pushed it out six months or whatever, let me go ahead and get surgery out of way and then I'll be. So I did surgery and then, you know, then I get orders to go um to Leonardwood in October and I show up, I fucking go to reception. They're like, hey, you're going down here to 35th engineers Like all right, you know, being the NCO I was. I went down the 35th engineers that first day and and and said um, and said you know, hey, you, this is me.

Speaker 3: 2:07:00

You know da da, da, da da. And uh, the master's aren't down there. He was like yeah, um, you should come down here tomorrow at like 530. I'm like, all right, I show up. And he's like they're like hey, go ahead.

Speaker 3: 2:07:16

And get on a scale. I'm like no, they were doing, they were doing a PT test as as a division. Um, so I'm like all right, I stepped on a scale, got off, they fucking took me in the next room and take me like always, and uh, I'm like I knew I was good. So I'm like, even though I was much heavier than than I'd been my whole career, I was still still within you know, by then. It was like 24% body fat and you fucking bust that shit, Holy shit. But um, so I finally, you know, go to reception.

Speaker 3: 2:08:00

A couple days I come back that master soren, he's out, he's out of the net. And there's another E seven there, the operation soren. Now, when I talk to the master soren, he's like you're the highest rank in the seven in the division. I was like all right. He's like buy a bunch, no shit. I've been at E seven fucking seven years now, or whatever the fuck. It was Like yeah, no shit. He's like so you're going to take over this. I'm like okay. And so another E seven was was like a, come in here, I need to cancel you. I'm like what? And he's like I need to cancel you. He's like a master. I can't think of the master's name. But yeah, I need to cancel. You like all right. And so I sit down and he's like you know, uh, they are 670, dash nine, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like whoa, what are we talking about? He's like, uh, you failed tape. No, the fuck, I didn't. Like, yeah, you did. I'm like, no, I'm like fuck a man, let's retake right now. He's like no master wants me to cancel. I'm like, first of all, you can't cancel me. I said, um, second of all, what you're counseling me on is not fucking valid. So, you know, that's first fucking day. So I'm like I'll just wait for master and get back. And uh, you know, and if, if he wants to retake me, we will. And uh, I said, but I'd rather you retake me right now. I said we'll get the operation out there. And I'm fucking. And he's like, all right, let's do it, like cool. So we do it.

Speaker 3: 2:09:55

And uh, they're, they're silent with each other, as they were the first time they take me. They were silent. They didn't, they didn't say you know, 39 or whatever, right, so they're silent. I'm like, well, what's what's the major? Like you don't need to do that. I'm like, well, since we're retaping because, um, you say I'm fat, I say I'm not.

Speaker 3: 2:10:25

You know it, would, it would stand a reason for you to tell me what the measurement is, you know. And uh, so he's like we don't do that here. And I'm like, well, okay, I'm like, but if you're not going to tell me what the measurement is, then how you know? And he's like, so they do the measurement. And uh, and he's like you know he's on his computer. And he's like yep, you're overweight.

Speaker 3: 2:10:56

I'm like like, so what we using? You know they were using, like, uh, 550, cordcom, or whatever. It was Like no, no, no, no, break out eight, six, seven. You know 600, dash nine, get the scale. You know, read, read the numbers. He's like, oh, we don't do that here. I'm like, well, if you want me to sign a 4856 at some point, we're going to do something by the fucking book, right. And I'm like, and oh, by the way, in the book it says that you announced the number to the recorder. To the recorder I said that way. You know, if you know you could, you have to take the average right. And uh, he's like, yeah, I'm not going to do that. Uh, he's like. He's like, well, I'm like whatever man I'm like when master's sergeant gets back.

Speaker 3: 2:11:44

So it ended up I'm standing in the Sarmadres office with the master's sergeant and they did it and again no one said nothing. And Sardvader, you know, and you know they hand the paper to the Sarmadres. Sarmadres, you know, he does his little 550 corecom fucking comes up. He's like he's good, and and then the Sardvader is like what is the problem? And like they had me at like 27% or whatever. And I'm like that's, and I was like 18% when he did, and and like they put a zero in. You know what I mean? And what it was is my son just wanted me out of his, his uh, because he was a crossfit dude and I was broke and I couldn't.

Speaker 3: 2:12:49

At that point in my career I couldn't do any fucking. You know I didn't do sit-ups anymore and I didn't do uh, I didn't do two mile run. So I did alternate fucking walk but yeah, but, but yeah, you would think I murdered fucking somebody. It was a scarlet letter on my. But yeah, sarmadres, like he's like, the first tape test was on a front, uh, like on a Wednesday.

Speaker 3: 2:13:26

I got back to the unit on a Friday. We did the second one, the numbers were the same. And then the following week we all did one and the Sarmadres off. He's like uh, the weight same, a height same. You know, the measurements are vastly different. He's like he didn't lose that many inches and I was like you motherfuckers.

Speaker 3: 2:13:52

So, my two years there, that's how it started and it was horrible, horrible. And every time, every time that motherfucker, the master was saying something Um, here, let me, I will, I will prove how smart this fucking master was. Um, he calls me to his office one day and he's like hey, I need you to cancel one of my staff's arms. I said, okay, we're four. He's like I got, I got this in the mail.

Speaker 3: 2:14:28

Um, from the provost, march said okay, you're this staff's aren't was parked at his house and on, leonard would like the driveways come. You know you go up the sidewalk to get into your driveway, so each, each driveway takes up part of the parking, uh, sidewalk. Well, um, one of his wife's friends was at her house when he was home for lunch or whatever the hell it was, and his car was parked on the sidewalk per se, but it's part of his drive. So they gave him a warning right, Don't park on the side Cool.

Speaker 3: 2:15:10

So this ticket that the provost Marshall sent to his command was a warning and, um, it said that the provost Marshall would not take any action on this matter. But if, um, the command would like to take action on this matter, um, there's a suspense. No, no, the suspense for um, uh, um, what's the word? Um, fuck, the suspense for fighting that ticket right? Um is um 30 days from the date of the ticket issue.

Speaker 3: 2:15:59

So I read this ticket and I'm like what do you want me to do? He's like you need to counsel him and take his keys. His license is suspended for 30 days. I'm like who the fuck said that? He's like the provost Marshall says it right there. I'm like I read it again. I'm like, no, it don't. I said the only where the only place it says suspension is on the back. I said it is suspense, the suspense meaning the date and time that we need to um file a rebuttal to this is 30 days from the date on the ticket.

Speaker 3: 2:16:42

Now, his shit's suspended. I'm like, sorry, I don't, I don't believe so. He's like we'll call down here. Like you want me to call the provost? Yes, yes, become a phone, fake dial a number, put it up my head, this provost Marshall, yeah, hey, um, I got a uh ticket in ticket in a mail. Yep Said it's a written warning. Yes, I said on the backside of that yes, it says the suspense for this action is 30 days from the ticket. Yes, like that means if I want to appeal this, this citation I have 30 days from the date is on the Ticket. Yes, yes, thank you, fake hanging up. I'm like see provost Marshall, um, and he's like still need to cancel. Like all right, we taking his keys. I'll call on provost Marshall and I'll see what they think. Okay, yeah, so that fucking guy, damn.

Speaker 1: 2:18:07

He would. He was type of seniors he owes her. What make people want to get out?

Speaker 3: 2:18:11

He, he would call you at 1130 pm, right 2330, and be like hey, we're going to do a real much, all right, cool. So we do, one day we're out in the national force out in Missouri and we're going to do this road march and we start there's family there and everybody, people do fucking half of it and they leave Like it was like a you know, and uh.

Speaker 3: 2:18:45

So I'm up there with him and we're doing this shit. And uh, on the way back I lose a toenail, right. So I sit down, take my boot off, fucking pull the rest of the toenail off and I keep going and, uh, I'll make it back. Get in my truck, I leave he. So they get back. I'm not a counter for right. So he sends out a fucking search party looking for Now he. He clearly said, do as much as you can. He's like when we get back, you're off, right, fucking three day weekend or whatever. Cool. So I get in my truck, go to my camper fucking chilling. Uh, call, dude that I work with. Hey man, we going out tonight? Yep, the one time you want to meet, this time, cool. And uh, he's like you know how you feet matter, fine, how's your feet? No good, whatever. Fucking. That was a M right Five something, pm.

Speaker 3: 2:20:03

He fucking calls me on the phone. What's up, son, where you at? Uh, my camper, I don't even air all fucking day. He's like, um, we're out, we're out in the national force, look for you. Why You're lost? No, I'm not lost. He's like well, um, the operations aren't. Took his fucking four wheeler out there looking for you and he wrecked it. So you owe him a set of handlebars. And I'm like, um, sorry to hear about our operations aren't, but I don't owe him shit. He's like, um, I tried to call you all day. No, you haven't. Like sure, I have. Like, no, you haven't. I'm like this, first time my phone rang from your number all day. Here I am, I'm not lost that fucking. See, I don't have. I didn't have that.

Speaker 4: 2:21:04

So yeah, bad leaders.

Speaker 3: 2:21:08

Damn dude, he fucking hated me. He hated me from the start, and and and the, the the big part of like we were fucking trade off. So you know you have the, you have the RL, you know you have this guide you go by. This is how you train.

Speaker 1: 2:21:31

You know PY.

Speaker 3: 2:21:32

PY. Um, you, you have that and you know, and I'll be up there. He got upset when I trained. Like one of my guys was like hey, you know, I got dental appointment, I got to go take the kid here fucking whatever. Cool, go ahead, I got this, I'm instructor qualified, I could fucking do that. So I would be fucking instructing. And you know, he would come down and sit in and he's like um, you're supposed to have two instructors here. I'm like I do, I got me.

Speaker 3: 2:22:02

Like you're not an instructor, no, but I'm instruct qualified, I'm in charge. That guy is not here. You know, like we, we have to be able to take, give guys breaks. No, fuck that. Yeah, and and the, the, the civilian who was in charge of that department? I was in, uh, it was the um, what was it called that engineer training division, whatever. Um, he was my major when I was at Fort Benning the first time. Um, so, our major Glenn. And uh, yeah, that dude I saw. I saw that dude rip fucking E five rank off of motherfuckers, call her. Uh, but yeah, yeah, oh, so I made you. But, yeah, good stuff. So, uh, anything, anything else.

Speaker 4: 2:23:06

I mean I think we, I think we pretty much uh NCO the shit out of this one.

Speaker 3: 2:23:12

I mean it's um, it's funny looking back now. Um you be, uh, some of the shit you put up with, some of the shit that you didn't you might have, you should have put up with something.

Speaker 1: 2:23:30

It's funny the things you remember. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah I mean, yeah, there's tons of things I can't remember, but there's like, like said, I was riding up here today and I popped in my head and fucking sun dressed and be yeah, I mean, you know she was fine and a frog haircut four ways.

Speaker 4: 2:23:59

Good times.

Speaker 3: 2:24:00

Don't fuck the maids.

Speaker 4: 2:24:01

Hey, sorry.

Speaker 3: 2:24:02

Bush, you're dead homeboy.